Special News Bulletin : Ng Kai Yee Caleb

...Lo aNd BeHoLd...


Disclaimer: The relation of any part of this bulletin to anyone in real life is purely coincidental....


This special news bulletin is to update the public on the recent landing of the celestial being Ng Kai Yee Caleb a.k.a. Pi-pa-kao-Lips on Singapore grounds. Originally from the planet Kaya, Kaiyee is a spirited Kaya-tian warrior who was the dictator behind the massaccre of the Peanutians on the planet Skippy P.B.. His on-going conquest to plunder the lands of yonder and beyond has been disturbingly successful thus far. Now, he has landed on earth to spread his reign of chaos upon the earthlings. Under his 'dictatorship of the universe' master plan, he intends to make the earthlings run 2.4km sprints around the vicinity of his proposed castle such that a canal for the moat around his castle will be eventually carved in the ground. He also intends to force the earthlings to eat nothing else but top quality premium kaya from the planet Kaya such that the people suffer from a sugar rush. With his vast army of sugar-rushing earthlings, he then intends to carry on his conquest to other parts of the galaxy.

But little does he know that he has to deal with the Earth's very own league of extraordinary Superheroes. First, we have the leader of the team, Colonel Kui Wai (Why) Mee. He has the special power of whining his adversaries to their death beads. Non can withstand the power of his whines that engulf the very being of the adversaries leading them to mental retardation.

Then, we have Captain Yappy Doo. Yappy do has the power to move mountains with his AHhhhhhhh ray. One zap and the adverseries are grounded to smithereens. Recent studies have shown that his AhhhhHHhh ray can induce violent bowel symdrome upon enemies who can do nothing but run to the toilet to relieve themselves.

Next up, we have Captain Pek Wee Kian a.k.a Six Pack Week End... He has the ability to encapsulate entire galaxies within the cage of his six pack that is made of an unknown and indestructable alloy. The six packs then have the ability to churn the negativities of the things that they encage and turn them into harmless pieces of Chinese Chess mostly on weekends.

Next up we have Captain Joseph Chong a.k.a. Jobat. Being a distant relative of Galactus from the X-men series, Jobat adopted his uncle's skill of devouring planets. The hunch here is that he does not devour planets, but devours underwear instead. He has the ability to rip and devour the underwear off the fiercest of enemies, exposing their family jewels and thus embarassing them into hiding. Eventually Jobat, swallows the heads of his enemies whole.

What would the league of extraordinary superheroes be without Captain Ashwin, a.k.a. Captain Braces... He has the power to blind enemies with a flash of his ultra shiny braces. The braces then serve the dual purpose of entending into tentacles just like Doctor Octopus from Spiderman and crush the juice out of enemies. Some unknown sources quote that his braces are made from the same strong and stretcheable alloy as Six Pek Week End's abs.

Captain Kumar further glorifies the team with his amazing power of harnessing tuna. Whenever there is trouble, Captain Kumar generates large amounts of canned tuna and fires it all over the the enemy rendering it immobile.

Who can forget Captain Benjamin Chen a.k.a Captain Phido Bong... Phido Bong has the uncanny ability to turn super villains into young and harmless kid's dolls. He then packages the 'young kid dolls' and stores them in a secret chamber under his house. Officials are still looking into what Captain Bong does to these young dolls in his dark underground room.

One of the key highlights of this unique team is Captain Ben Tan a.k.a. Captain Break Dance. He has the power to induce confusion upon his enemies with ultra fast and complicated break dancing moves. Captain Break Dance usually works with Captain Yappy Doo who finishes up the job by pulverising the confused adversaries.

Captain tan Peng Yu a.k.a Captain Holey Tan has the amazing ability to search and clog the biggest and widest of holes. As long as there is a hole, you can be sure he'll be there to save the day. Other, than that Captain Holey Tan can also perform the rain dance with his long arms and legs causing the adversaries to be struck by lightning and be blown away by thunder.

Next up we have Captain Waifu a.k.a. Captain Wife-who... He has the amazing ability of stealting the adversary's wife from right under his nose, rendering the adversary heart broken. He then uses his laser basketball eyes to score three pointers on the adversary until he perishes.

Last but not least we have Captain Kevin Key a.k.a Captain Cave-In Key... Captain Cave in key has the unique ability to open any door by inserting his head into the door hole. On the offensive side, he is able to produce the jingling sounds of keys on frequencies that are equivalent to Yappy-Doo's AhhhhhHH rays. However, the key rays, turn the adversary into a door knob instead of pulverising him.


So there you have it, the league of extraordinary superheroes. The Kaya-tian Caleb has got a challenge coming his way if he intends to gain control of the earth. All for one and one for all...!!!



...aNgeLs BrOuGhT mE HeRe