Day 3- Macau- The Music In Me...

...Lo aNd BeHoLd...

Today was an incredible day. For once in my life I spoke nothing but broken Mandarin the entire day, not a single word of English. Better still, the people adored me when I spoke to them in Mandarin. Got to sample food at so many stalls that I didn't need lunch. 2 Chinese girls even tested all the caps in their shop on me until I bought one chosen by them. Coolness!

It was a day of walking in this land of Casinos. I refused to take the bus. Covered every inch on the map, accessible to tourists on foot. Didn't dare to go to the Great Barrier Gate that separates Macau and China just in case some cops apprehended me and brought me into China to work on the railway tracks as a slave ;)

Since so many things hit me at one go, I realised that I had lost the motivation to do the one thing that I love the most- Sing! I forgot how to sing. I knew things were bad when I could barely mouth the words to a song which I know well, when I went to playnation with Jelvin, Andy and Waye. Today, I suddenly found myself humming and singing to myself as I hurried along the busy streets of Macau. A land in which no one knows me, behaving as I please. I miss my guitar....

Off to HongKong via ferry tomorrow morning. Thank you for guiding me thus far :)

Day 2 Macau- The Gift of Knowledge

...Lo aNd BeHoLd...

I spent the entire morning in a Macdonald's in LCCT, KL today. It was a time of quiet reflection and sweet solace as I settled some administrative matters. I had a funny feeling of apprehension before arrving in Macau and sure enough the feeling manisfested itself in material form as I reached Macau Airport.

I was singled out from the multitude people, all of various races, meaning racism or stereotypes were probably not their basis of singling me out. I was first sniffed all over by a golden retriever. Then two cops stopped me, showed me their police passes, and took my passport. They started to interrogate me. I answered all their questions calmly. What do I have to hide right? But it wasn't enough. They brought me to an interrogation room, where they made me empty my bag. They interrogated me further and kept speaking to each other in Cantonese. It was a nightmare. Eventually, the female cop made a photocopy of my passport and returned it to me. Way to be welcomed into Macau.

Matters got worst when I turned my handphone on only to realise that my booking for one of the cheaper hotels in Macau had been rejected. Being in a new place, in a moment of desperation, I booked the cheapest available hotel and had to pay a whooping S$130. Sigh. Well, I guess you only live once. The hotel is awesome and the bed is great. Will be living in a 6-men dorm tomorrow with 5 other German guys- $19. A whole lot better.

Upon unpacking, I decided to venture out on my own. I realised that I was on Tapai island. So I took a bus to Macau city after exploring Tapai to some extent. Macau city is where all the action is- Hotels and Casinos galore. I tried one egg-tart and one waffle- That was dinner. Didn't have time to sample more food as I decided to cover as much ground on foot as possible. Thus 9 cross-border attractions in one night.

Today I was thinking about my studies. My entire life people have treated me as the 'smart guy'. I wouldn't say I'm smart, but I try my best. I guess such expectations pressure you to maintain that which you have configured yourself to be in people's eyes. I have convinced myself that learning to me is alot more important than the credit I get for performing well in my studies. After all, I believe when one has it, the ability to be good at that which one is assigned, paper qualifications are rendered secondary. I joined the armed forces to protect my country, to do my best. If they reward me based on merely academic considerations, so be it (such is not the case- there are ample opportunities to showcase your talents. Results are in no way an ultimatum). At least I remain true to myself.

I guess the hard part would be being judged by people at each point in time based on that, of you, which physically manifests itself in front of them rather than that which lies beyond, or even behind-the story behind. That's life right?

aNgeLs BrOuGhT mE HeRe...

Flashback

...Lo aNd BeHoLd...

Sitting here in Kuala Lumpur airport whilst waiting for my flight to Macau, the hasty decision which I made suddenly dawned upon me. As easy as buying the ticket was, will travelling in a different land be as easy, emphasized by the fact that I'm on my own and know no one? KL was easy enough. I felt like I was optimally in my element, language, people and all. Macau and Hong Kong are going to be different stories altogether. No accomodation as of now either.

Strangely enough I'm not the least bit fearful. There's this adrenaline rush telling me to live my life on the edge. I guess in the relative world of our dwelling, one does not value happiness as much without facing adversity head on or know of its existence at the very least. Contentment is rendered a function of the prior factors. Philosophical story cut short, such time will allow me to value elements that I often take for granted either consciously or sub-consciously back in my good old Singapore.

Kuala Lumpur -Day 1 of reflection: Wisdom of Speech…

...Lo aNd BeHoLd...

There was so much turmoil inside of me before I began the trip. My priorities were way off course. People who had known me since the good old army days saw me falter, or show signs of weakness for the very first time. I knew something had to be done to salvage the situation. – This is what the me of the past would’ve written whilst embarking on such a journey of reflection.

I still stand by the above. But people relationships have inevitably infused their forms into my being to a great extent. It’s hard to face myself in the mirror knowing the person who once made it his business to put the sorrows of his friends upon himself ends up creating sorrows for those very people. There comes a point in life, where whatever you say or do inevitably backfires upon you, wrecking repercussion after repercussion.

In some situations, the answers are not clear cut. Who’s to blame? Could it have been better had it been done in a different way? Is there a win-win solution? I sound like I’m speaking in riddles, but sometimes the understanding that riddles as such exist allows us to understand the complexities of human nature. The intricacies with which it develops, the profoundness which surrounds its form, akin to the penumbra.

On day 1 of my journey, I pray that God grant me the wisdom of tongue. So that, that which I speak brings happiness to people instead of setting sorrows upon their beings. I pray that God grant me the wisdom and the clarity of thought to think in utmost detail, consider circumstances and repercussions before I speak.

On a side note, I took a 40 minute flight from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur. At Kuala Lumpur, I took a 1 hour long skybus ride to KL Sentral. From KL Sentral, I took a taxi to my hotel at Jalan Bintang. Thus my whole evening was spent traveling. I actually miss my physics friends now. Leaving a gathering halfway made me feel like I have left unfinished business behind. Guys, just want you to know that I treasure each and everyone of you….

In my room now which is uber scary. It’s barely 2m by 2m and there’s a mirror right in front of my bed. How’s that for an eerie night in Kuala Lumpur.

aNgeLs BroUghT mE HeRe...